Aiyoh why she so fat and assorted complaints
When I say my family is a bunch of jokers, i mean it
Scene 1: Watching Tv
Description: a conversation between assorted aunties(A.A) and the dad
Auntie 9: Wah how come she(referring to the actress on tv) SO FAT AR?!
Auntie 10: Must be she gave birth lar! if not can't be wad!
Cue think-bubble from me: 'i dun remember that actress giving birth!'
Auntie 10: Aiyah must be must be! If not how can be so fat?! Actress leh!
Auntie 9: Yah lor... wah look at her arms... 1 BIG BLOP OF FAT!
the dad: aiyohz u c that fat woman... last time soooooooooo slim and pretty~! look at her now! fat like anything...
Well, apparently my entire family thinks that every actress who appeared on tv got a big fat endorsement deal from a slimming centre... obviously they're wrong... that's y there r still big fat ppl on tv... 'big fat' is often an overstatement... actually if u think about it, many of the actresses or actors whom we scorn at saying 'eh how come he/she gained weight?' may weigh even lesser than many of us at that point of time... juz becoz they're celebrities (which in itself is an oxymoron coz i dun c anything to celebrate when u're constantly under public scrutiny), they're expected to be SO THIN or SO HUNKY, they can squeeze thru the door crack(for the women) or use their abs to wash clothes (for the men)...
Scene 2: Having dinner
Cue me happily throwing food into my mouth
Auntie 10: Wah i tell u ar~! that woman is SO VICIOUS! i really hope she gets beaten up by so and so!
Me: Aiyoh y so agitated? who u talking about?
Auntie 10: There! That woman from the 7 o'clock show!
Me: .........................
it's JUST a SHOW! the way my auntie put it machiam she knowz that woman in real life... in fact, she's juz a character in the idiot box... watch until so pek chek still watch for wad?! upon further probing, i finally understood the motivation behind them watching repititive, mind-numbing, noisy and money-grubbing chn 8 family-themed dramas...
Assorted Aunties: Aiyoh start liao mar! cannot stop! must watch finish! not nice also must watch!
Scene 3: Me doing homework
Cue auntie 7 walks into my room
Auntie 7: eh Han(that's wad i'm called at home), u noe that who got marry that who then got go where to wad or notz?
Me: Who, wad, where?
Auntie 7: there that show lar! that show leh... there that show... u dunno that show meh?! that show lar!
u c... my aunties think juz becoz they watch every single sobbing drama there is on tv(taiwanese, chn 8, wadever), everyone watches them... and there's never a show title... it's always that show with who and who... who and who have no names too... when they discuss it among themselves, they juz noe it...
All the above said r definitely not fictitious and r also not imitations of anyone dead or alive coz they're real not fake... Oh and they r also under the sole proprietorship of the Choy clan...
Scene 1: Watching Tv
Description: a conversation between assorted aunties(A.A) and the dad
Auntie 9: Wah how come she(referring to the actress on tv) SO FAT AR?!
Auntie 10: Must be she gave birth lar! if not can't be wad!
Cue think-bubble from me: 'i dun remember that actress giving birth!'
Auntie 10: Aiyah must be must be! If not how can be so fat?! Actress leh!
Auntie 9: Yah lor... wah look at her arms... 1 BIG BLOP OF FAT!
the dad: aiyohz u c that fat woman... last time soooooooooo slim and pretty~! look at her now! fat like anything...
Well, apparently my entire family thinks that every actress who appeared on tv got a big fat endorsement deal from a slimming centre... obviously they're wrong... that's y there r still big fat ppl on tv... 'big fat' is often an overstatement... actually if u think about it, many of the actresses or actors whom we scorn at saying 'eh how come he/she gained weight?' may weigh even lesser than many of us at that point of time... juz becoz they're celebrities (which in itself is an oxymoron coz i dun c anything to celebrate when u're constantly under public scrutiny), they're expected to be SO THIN or SO HUNKY, they can squeeze thru the door crack(for the women) or use their abs to wash clothes (for the men)...
Scene 2: Having dinner
Cue me happily throwing food into my mouth
Auntie 10: Wah i tell u ar~! that woman is SO VICIOUS! i really hope she gets beaten up by so and so!
Me: Aiyoh y so agitated? who u talking about?
Auntie 10: There! That woman from the 7 o'clock show!
Me: .........................
it's JUST a SHOW! the way my auntie put it machiam she knowz that woman in real life... in fact, she's juz a character in the idiot box... watch until so pek chek still watch for wad?! upon further probing, i finally understood the motivation behind them watching repititive, mind-numbing, noisy and money-grubbing chn 8 family-themed dramas...
Assorted Aunties: Aiyoh start liao mar! cannot stop! must watch finish! not nice also must watch!
Scene 3: Me doing homework
Cue auntie 7 walks into my room
Auntie 7: eh Han(that's wad i'm called at home), u noe that who got marry that who then got go where to wad or notz?
Me: Who, wad, where?
Auntie 7: there that show lar! that show leh... there that show... u dunno that show meh?! that show lar!
u c... my aunties think juz becoz they watch every single sobbing drama there is on tv(taiwanese, chn 8, wadever), everyone watches them... and there's never a show title... it's always that show with who and who... who and who have no names too... when they discuss it among themselves, they juz noe it...
All the above said r definitely not fictitious and r also not imitations of anyone dead or alive coz they're real not fake... Oh and they r also under the sole proprietorship of the Choy clan...
that was one of the really good blog entries I've ever read in a long, long time :)
Posted by
cheow |
3:23 PM